Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Letter 2: Being in the Present

I feel like this past easter weekend was jam packed busy, but as i reflect on how you handled it. It reminds me to live in the moment, truly just enjoying what's happening or what i am doing at that very moment.  My Saturday was mostly spent at church doing a rehearsal, then later at a easter vigil/baptism. But in between, we were invited by some neighbors for a little easter party. Which you were fully consumed by, all the easter decor, the coloring table, the small bounce house with a tiny ball pit and of course the pirate ship playhouse. By the way, Thank you Lozano Family for the invite, we always enjoy your parties.

Here you are going "Argh" while steering the pirate ship. This is seriously what i consider getting into the moment. I had a few laughs as you walked around saying argh with the plastic sword you found. And when i found you in the captain's quarter with the pretend map and ball n chains. To see you so engaged into your pretend role, also pleased me, to see your imagination rolling so quickly and how much you were enjoying yourself.

You also enjoyed the plastic tube your Dad rolled you in, you had so many giggles and laughs coming out of you, i started to enjoy the moment and stopped looking at the clock.

Later that night we went to an Catholic Easter Vigil  which included a baptism that I was part of because i am my niece's godmother. It was going to be about 3 hours, and because I have never sat you down for something that long I packed a little bag with drawing books for your entertainment while sitting with your dad, being that i had to sit in the front pew. You got to all dressed up which you loved, swirling around and showing off your dress. Later after the mass, i found out that you enjoyed it and behaved really well. I was told that you enjoyed all the standing and sitting that was asked of you. That you were repeating what the priest and bishop were saying. That you were dancing and swaying to the music, and enjoyed the first half which was lit by candles, which i thought would've scared you. Of course in my brain I got irritated with myself because I was so concerned for your comfort that I keep looking back at you, kept waiting to hear you getting upset. I was just waiting for something to happen that your dad would run out of church for. To only learn that you adapted quite well into your environment, often enjoying yourself. I am learning not to worry so much, especially with the "what-ifs" and instead just worry maybe when something is actually happening. Sunday was a busy but relaxed day and I just decided to let go of my concerns and just enjoy myself, after seeing how happy and present you were all weekend. Living in the moment is something i hope you somehow continue to do all the way into adulthood. It a way of life that I think everyone has to do to live life to the fullest. I struggle with it but am truly working on it. I have you to remind me, thank you. Another reason to add to all the other hundred of reasons of why I love you.

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